1. I’m confused. No wait…Maybe I’m not.
2. despite the look on my face, you’re still talking?
3. Don’t take life so seriously. It isn’t permanent.
4. Let me drop everything & work on your problem!
5. DYSLEXICS UNTIE!
6. i see dumb people
7. EMBARRASSING MY CHILDREN: Just one more service I offer
8. getting married was her idea
9. HERE I AM now what are your other two wishes?
10. I’m Not Fluent In IDIOT, So Please Speak Slowly & Clearly
11. Nosey Little Bas**** aren’t you?
12. I NEVER MAKE MISTAKES. I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.
13. If a man speaks in the forest, but there is no woman to hear him, IS HE STILL WRONG?
14. to err is human…but to blame someone else shows management potential.
15. THE TOP TEN REASONS I PROCRASTINATE: 1.
16. Some days its not even worth chewing through the restraints.
17. I’M RETIRED GO AROUND ME
18. Remember, you’re unique like everybody else.
19. I’m Not an Alcoholic I’m A DRUNK (Alcoholics Go To Meetings)
20. Squirrels: Nature’s Little Speed Bumps
21. Can’t Feed’em? Don’t Breed’EM (picture on tshirt of a mother with about 6 babies)
22. REHAB is for quitters
23. I’m Not Santa (but you can still sit on my lap)
24. Everybody is born right handed. Only the gifted overcome it.
25. Who are you and Why are you reading my shirt?
26. DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT
27. PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals
28. WORK HARDER: Millions on Welfare Depend On It!